This is a brand called Dust Furniture. I love this piece:



They have a whole gallery here: http://www.dustfurniture.com/gallery.htm

It's all through-the-looking-glass-y! I just called the Georgia authorized retailer (A Southern Accent) and they said a bookshelf is about $895 plus shipping. She didn't want to fax me the price list or tell me specifically which shelf would be $895 so I have a feeling it's open to negotiation. Still, it's pricey, but I could justify paying a lot for a piece like that. Or waiting five years for it to show up on eBay. Hmmmm..

He is coming to Decatur to speak and sign books in December, and I got a ticket to see him and go to the book signing!

SCHQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you ever miss JJ Fad, Kid N Play, DJ Jazzy Jeff, Eric B & Rakim? Do you find that the early works of Will Smith and Ice T are still hilarious to you? (Okay, so Ice T didn't intend for his to be that way.) Did you dance to Push It at your high school prom? (Don't lie.) Do you need an Around the Way Girl? If you don't feel this way yet, you will when you listen to Yahoo LaunchCast Radio's 1980's Hip Hop station:
http://player.play.it/player/yahooplayer.html?v=4.7.124&ur=1&us=1&id=

Yay!

She started feeling up my back,
I said "Ooh, you're hands are cold!!!"
-Fresh Prince

The first-time homebuyer tax credit has been extended to April 2010. That's a tax *credit* which means free money. It means you *get* $8000 dollar for dollar credit towards paying your taxes, which means if you normally owe $1000, you'll get a $7000 refund.

It's the third bullet point here: http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/fact-sheet-worker-homeownership-and-business-assistance-act-2009

Okay, so it's not exactly cost-effective, since buying a house is going to cost a shitload more than $8000, but if you've been saving up and planning on it anyway, it might be the time to go for it, given that interest rates and housing prices are still quite low, but I know I have read that home values in some areas are crawling back up.

jimi45 (I think unintentionally) gave me an idea for a SUPER GOOD cheat: find a high res picture of what you want your furniture to look like, print it out as close to actual size as possible. Then glue it on! You just did decoupage! Don't you feel crafty? You may want to then go over it with some paint, depending on how pixelated it is or if there are a lot of gaps. Then laquer or varnish everything. [Edit: Jimi also told me about Lazertran, it's special printer paper for doing very photorealistic transfers. This lady scanned a block of wood, drew patterns on it in Photoshop and Illustrator, printed it on Lazertran paper and stuck it to this desk for this effect (scroll to bottom). AMAZING!]

Now that I have become a Versailles-type furniture expert by googling images all day instead of working, I've learned there are a few styles of varying complexity to choose from if you want to turn an item of furniture into a little piece of Versailles. Here are the best examples of what I found, in order from easiest to yeah right. For all of these, you may need to get some pulls or handles that look more loopy or dainty, but simple round pulls work if they are a dark brown wood or metal, or white, as long as they go with the color scheme.

1. ( Paint it gold )

2. ( Glue a piece of wood to the back of it )

3. ( Paint it white or ivory )

4. ( Paint vertical stripes on it )

5. ( Green and gold )

6. ( Or you can really go nuts )

To me, a little of this style goes a long way. No matter how rich she was, I have to say, that queen was tacky:

Okay, I'm jealous! Okay!

I am looking for a nightstand (I currently have a tv tray as a nightstand)! I was inspired by some pictures of Louis XIV's Versailles Palace, but I find that antique French furniture is a bit on the pricey side, hahaha. Reproductions of antique French furniture are also expensive. I decided I'm going to cheat, and make some fake antique French furniture!

Here is an example of a cheat that seems feasible with a bit of paint, gilt, moulding, a saw, some old buttons & pulls, maybe some plywood or putty or wood filler or just whatever:

( pics )

It will never look exactly like the $1300 nightstand but the shape is similar and I think it could be transformed into something very "inspired" by the $1300 piece.

Here is a website with a lot of good pictures of expensive French furniture. It may be good inspiration: The Furniture Market: French Furniture Section

I'm still looking for a similar gilded furniture piece with a black base color, and that's been more difficult to find than the white and ivory pieces. Does someone know of a website with pictures of Versailles or baroque furniture?

Thanks! I will update with my progress, should any be made!

x-posted to thriftysauce

You know the face that Andy Samberg makes in the Jizz in my Pants video?

That is the face I am making while I read more about the Courier:
My link is Click.



I wrote a song, it's called "Oh Courier" and it goes like this:
"Oh Cooooourierrrrrrr, I neeeeed you. Why can't you come be miiiiiine? You are so awesome and fiiiiiiiine, JUST HURRY UP ALREADY MICROSOFT OKAY FOR FUCK'S SAKE"

That's all I've written so far.

IT'S TIME TO SCARE SOME CHILDREN!

Oh I'm so excited, I have a house on Halloween, and the neighborhood is big and full of children! I'm going to have the AWESOME SPOOKY HOUSE!!! I just need some black and white spray paint, cardboard, box cutter, some old newspaper, some old clothes, a cheap scary mask, some string,and a bunch of fake cobwebs. And probably a lot of duct tape.

Oh yes, I has a plan. It's just a matter of whether or not I have enough time between now and tomorrow night to get it all done. EEEEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEEEEeeee!

I also intend to buy some good candy, and some nasty candy. And if I get some parents asking for candy, or some kids coming back more than once, they are getting some nasty candy. Maybe I'll buy some little tooth brushes or print some little bible quotes for anyone that really gets on my nerves. "Here's some floss, you little shit!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Ain't it funny how we teach children not to talk to strangers and not to take candy from strangers, but one night a year, we tell them to go up to spooky strange houses and ask for candy?

yesterday I went to the apartment after work to load up the car with leftover shit. I was exiting out of the apartment onto Briarcliff, or trying to, it's kind of a busy street, and I saw these two kids (one looked about six, the other no more than 4), on the sidewalk by themselves and i thought, well that seems wrong but it isn't my business. So I keep watching in their direction, that's direction where I need to watch traffic. One of them almost steps out right in front of a fucking car. I almost had a fucking heart attack. I thought, and I'm actually ashamed of how slow this thought process was, how long it took: "Those kids are just trying to cross the street. There are no adults helping them. They are too young to cross the street alone. I must intervene." I threw the fucking car in park and jumped out, I didn't grab my purse or put the emergency blinkers on as I should have, and rushed over to them, willing myself not to run at them because it might scare them and make them dart. Like I thought they were cats or something!

Anyway I go over there close enough and say "Hey, come over here, come away from the street!" and they do, and a jogger passes us, and I'm amazed how many people have just passed by these fucking kids who almost fucking killed themselves and either didn't notice or didn't want to get involved, and I ask them where their mom and dad is, and they point towards the apartment. I tell them they shouldn't go into the street because they can get hurt. They had pretty much alarmed a lot of people (who kept fucking driving) but another car with two ladies had pulled off the road, and by then one of them came up and was asking the same questions as me. I told her no, I don't know them, he pointed thataway for his parents, and they took over walking the boys home, just following them to their apartment to make sure they got to their folks. It was crazy, I HOPE that their parents were at home having a fit or somehow un-knowing that they were gone because it is CRIMINAL to let children so young wander on their own!!! I saw a cop at the gas station on the corner and was highly tempted to go tell him what happened and bring him to their parents house. But I didn't because I want to give them the benefit of the doubt that they were worried sick. Or I want to make sure the kids don't get beaten for what they did. I don't even know.

I haven't even told anybody I work with or my family about this, just my husband, and you people, because, it's extremely disturbing. I don't want to tell people I saw this. It hurts to know what almost happened, right in front of me, and because of what? I don't know.

ever

I'm worried about that poor child who was exploited by his parents. You know, the balloon boy. That dad has a nasty temper. I'm afraid he's going to be angry at the boy, for giving the secret away on the Larry King Show. But what does he expect? He has to be an idiot to expect a six year old to keep a secret from the national media, while putting him constantly in front of cameras and grilling him about the incident. He's six! That poor child. He puked on national tv during one of the battery of interviews the parents are dragging him to, I imagine from stress and nerves. This is even worse than when Palin used Piper as a human shield in that sports arena. Parents can't protect their children from everything, but come on! Intentionally putting them in a situation that many adults couldn't handle, making them co-conspirators while you break the law and putting the responsibility on them?

But on the bright side, I can think of the Heenes and look at my mistakes in life and say, "Hey, I'm not such a bad person!"

It is a porno.

http://www.visit-x.net/rammstein/

I think that is a first in music video history. And a first in porno history to have some attractive men in the video. Although I don't know, I am not a porn expert, but the ones I've seen usually are populated by ugly mofos.

Why do people, mostly hairless, have hair on their buttholes, while cats, mostly fur-covered, have no fur on their buttholes?

I was inspired by some HuffPo "naughty google suggestions" post, so I typed in "my girlfriend has" thinking that it was going to say herpes (of course that's #1) but there was also this really weird suggestion.



And apparently the French cultural minister who was so outspokenly defending Polanski confessed to having sex with young boys in his autobiography. Ha! Haha! *sigh* But it does hearten me to know that it was other French people who pointed this out and are getting him fired over it. Apparently the French do not think we're a bunch of prudes. Just the really outspoken guy who likes to bugger young boys. He thinks we're prudes. *wanders off*

Funniest spam subject heading I've ever seen! I was also amused by the links at the bottom, among "Subscribe" and "Unsubscribe" was a link for "Report Spam." Ha! The audacity.

http://jezebel.com/5372888/chris-rock-on-roman-polanski-its-rape-rape

Okay, okay, so on the news on the elevator this morning it said that Woody Allen was protesting Polanski's extradition. I told my coworker that I found that amusing, "Thanks Woody but we already know you're a creep!" and she says:

Woody Allen='Guy you don't want on your side if you're being accused of being a pervert'

We saw Serenity at the Plaza Theatre Sunday. Neither of us had seen it before, but we both watched Firefly.. it was a mostly satisfying conclusion to the sadly canceled series. Except for, like, some people dying. Then we went to the Righteous Room next door which has THE BEST SPICY CHICKEN WINGS IN THE UNIVERSE. They also have a really good juke box. I just don't think I'm ever going to be able to go back there, since it is very smoky and I quit smoking. Like, yesterday. Except for that clove cigarette I had.

Okay, speaking of this, is anyone else ENTIRELY PISSED OFF that clove cigarettes are outlawed? I bought a fucking carton of them before they outlawed it, and Djarum Specials are already selling for $30 a pack on eBay. I'm not certain whether I should:
a. Give them as Christmas gift to best friend who only smokes cloves
b. Save them to smoke in 20 years, or whenever, because I can (these will apparently be extremely rare, moreso than even Cuban cigars, because the manufacturer has stopped making this most delicious and analgesic brand of lung-candy)
c. Save them to sell at extraordinarily high prices in ~5 years (once the shortage is in full effect even on the hoarders, but before people forget what the hell they are)

The only problem with option C is the not legal aspect. The problem with B is that I'm supposed to be a non-smoker, so it might be a bad idea to hoard some smokes. The problem with A is that THEY'RE MINE, I WANT THEM.



EDIT: I wouldn't have even bought the cloves if it weren't for the ban. The ban has turned them into something rare, precious and inaccessible, creating tremendous enjoyment for me in smoking them from now on. Coworker just pointed out to me that I should actually be thankful for this ban for giving me this enjoyment. She kind of has a point.

OMG we might close on Wednesday! Holy shit! I'm letting myself get excited about it now, YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Oh and Roman Polanski was arrested, HAHAHAHA! YAAAAAAAAY!!! Child rapist dying in jail FTW!

They are moving DaVinci things into the High Museum across the street. The street on one side of the museum is blocked off and full of big moving trucks and a crane. Right now the crane is suspending a giant horse's ass above the museum as I type.

I guess it is part of this thing: http://www.leonardo-da-vinci-biography.com/leonardo-da-vinci-horse.html